The Ones That Didn’t Make The Cut

The Ones That Didn’t Make The Cut

Believe it or not, one of the more challenging hurdles we faced in writing IN STITCHES was coming up with a good title.

According to our brilliant publisher and editor, the right title means only everything.

A good title seduces you.  It lures you to the book, commands you to pick it up and caress the cover, urges you to flip the cover over and read the luscious flap copy on the attractive jacket, then sucks you in and gets you to read a paragraph or two before closing the deal… convincing you to plunk down a mere twenty-five bucks and take the book home.

Or ordering it on Amazon for less.

Or downloading it on your E-book for even less.

All because of the title.

Because a good title elicits an emotion.

A good title is evocative;  it reveals the nature of the book… the book’s tone… in potentially two words or less.

Our first title?

Short White Coats.

No, said our publishing team.  Not good.  Short White Coats?  What is this, the memoir of a Good Humor Man?

We dumped that title and came up with the following—

So many, in fact, that it will take up two blog posts.

Read ‘em and weep.

And please don’t think less of me.

Here then, a few of the ones that didn’t make it and why:

Too movie-oriented:

-DR. T AND THE WOMEN

-SUPER SIZE ‘EM

-CODE BLUE: ELECTRIC SHOCK-OR-TWO (can anyone guess what this is from?)

Too music-oriented:

-OOH, I WANNA STITCH YOU UP!

-LIKE A SURGEON: CUT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME

-DOC AROUND THE CLOCK

-I LIKE D CUPS AND I CANNOT LIE!

-P-P-P-POKE HER FACE!

Reminds me too much of other books:

-TALES OF A MED SCHOOL NOTHING

-THE POKY LITTLE MEDICAL STUDENT

-DOCTOR IN THE RYE

-PORTRAIT OF THE DOCTOR AS A YOUNG MAN

-SWEAT, PRAY, GLOVE

Too medical:

-THE BOY WITH THE SERPENT AND STAFF TATTOO

Trying too hard to be funny:

-FUNNY BONES: LAUGHING, CRYING, SCREAMING MY WAY THROUGH MEDICAL SCHOOL

-PLASTIC RAP

-EVERY DAY IS A SICK DAY (THANKFULLY)

-PANTS ON THE GROUND

-THIS WON’T HURT AS MUCH AS THE BILL

Too violent:

-THE FIRST TIME EVER I SAWED YOUR FACE

Just too Seinfeldian:

-AND THEY’RE SPECTACULAR: LIVING LARGE IN MEDICAL SCHOOL

—————

So… we all agreed to go with IN STITCHES as our title.

It spoke to us.  It seemed…

Provocative.  Catchy.  Memorable.   And loaded with subtext.  Says in two words that this is a book about a doctor—most likely a surgeon—and it’s funny.

Amazing that we struggled so long and so hard to find it.  Especially with all of these wonderful suggestions that just didn’t quite make the cut—

Too movie related:

-THE 40 YEAR OLD SURGEON

-I SEE DEAD PEOPLE (AND OTHER MED SCHOOL ADVENTURES)

Too sexual:

-I READ PLAYBOY FOR THE PICTURES

-THAT’S A STETHOSCOPE IN MY POCKET AND I’M HAPPY TO SEE YOU

-TALES FROM THE SILICONE VALLEY

-PLAYING DOCTOR: THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT MEDICAL SCHOOL

The rest of these just don’t quite work:

-FUNNY BONES: LAUGHING, CRYING, AND SCREAMING MY WAY THROUGH MED SCHOOL

-CUT UP: FROM MEDICAL SCHOOL ZERO TO PLASTIC SURGERY HERO

-FOOL ON THE PILL:GETTING A CLUE IN MEDICAL SCHOOL

-THIS WILL HURT A BIT

-WARNING: THIS BOOK HAS BEEN DOCTORED

And one last one which ALMOST made it:

-TRUST ME, I’M ALMOST A DOCTOR

And these are the ones I dared allow myself to print!

Well, if there’s a sequel, an IN STITCHES 2, at least we’ve got a couple dozen titles to start with—and reject.

Unless you have a suggestion for a title that’s even better than IN STITCHES.   Or for the sequel.  What might it be? Let me know!